Cinco de Miracle Whip

Today northern Minnesotans celebrate their Mexican pride. Bars have been advertising, with even more dubious grammar than normal, drink specials for sombrero wearers, cheap margaritas, the requisite $1 beer, and free tacos.
However, I'm suspicious whether today will prove to be the explosion of flavor and culture we've all been promised. While living here, I have seen people begin to sweat after eating black pepper. I have seen people slather Miracle Whip on their tacos. I have seen the following ingredients melted together, transferred to a casserole dish, and christened a bean dip:
-- 1 brick of Velveeta
-- 1 lb Philadelphia cream cheese
-- 2 cans refried beans

Served, naturally, with a side of mild salsa. Olé, que sabor.

Foreign policy

When you're chatting with someone in Ely who makes reference to a trip they took to Tunis with their father a while back, wait a couple minutes for them to clarify before expressing interest in their experience. Because, as I learned today, chances are they're not talking about the capital of Tunisia. Nope, chances are good that they're actually talking about Tuna's Strip Club in Eveleth, Minnesota.

Tuna's Strip Club. It's real.

Overnight Low -34

Sad Times

This morning:
"Is it really cold out?"

"Nah, it's actually warm. It's like ten degrees."

"Oh, sweet."