Cinco de Miracle Whip

Today northern Minnesotans celebrate their Mexican pride. Bars have been advertising, with even more dubious grammar than normal, drink specials for sombrero wearers, cheap margaritas, the requisite $1 beer, and free tacos.
However, I'm suspicious whether today will prove to be the explosion of flavor and culture we've all been promised. While living here, I have seen people begin to sweat after eating black pepper. I have seen people slather Miracle Whip on their tacos. I have seen the following ingredients melted together, transferred to a casserole dish, and christened a bean dip:
-- 1 brick of Velveeta
-- 1 lb Philadelphia cream cheese
-- 2 cans refried beans

Served, naturally, with a side of mild salsa. Olé, que sabor.