Checking in with the senior crowd

I just returned from watching the Vikings blow their chance to make it the Super Bowl with the 55+ crowd (there was a copy of Eat, Pray, Love on the counter, which cemented the age bracket). The ladies were wearing all purple, furiously chain-smoking, and alternately wheezing and shrieking things like
"The HELL you smiling about, you SHMUCK!" (Better if you imagine the exclamation point as a middle finger instead of punctuation)
and
"I can't breathe...I think I'm having a stroke..." (Totally plausible.)
I mostly focused on making a rainbow out of peanut M&Ms. It was held at the apartment of the same woman who, when her cat chewed its stitches out last week, held the cat down and super-glued the wound closed. Never a dull moment.